Anxiety Spangxiety

Lately I have seen a number of people on my Facebook really struggling with anxiety so I wanted to write a blog post on it. Explain what it is, how to recognise it and some ideas and strategies of dealing with it.

Anxiety can be its own disorder or it can be part of any number of disorders – like depression for example. But there are also a whole family of illnesses that are anxiety based – the granddaddy of them being Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

OCD

For example, I have OCD and it affects me in a number of ways – firstly, I have a fear of contamination. I struggle to touch things like bins, raw meat, animals and anything to do with body fluids. So lucky I have Mike living with me to do the bins every week – and he gives extra love to the cats and looks after their food and litter bc they are my biiiig struggles. When this type of my OCD flares up I tend to wash my hands, arms - whatever touched the ‘contaminate’ over and over. I’ve got it down to one good wash a time now but there was a time when my skin wud be really effected by the amount of hand washing I did. For this kind of OCD I have had to undergo a lot of very uncomfortable exposure therapy – not fun, but it works.

And every time I have thoughts of avoidance nowadays, I force myself to pick up the cat and cuddle it, then I force myself to wait as long as I can before I wash my hands – the longest I can go is between half an hour and 45 minutes. Avoidance with contamination issues just makes it bigger and badder. Constantly challenging those thoughts is what brings you to recovery.

Another way I am affected by anxiety in my OCD is when I am really stressed I tend to pick at my face – something I am currently struggling with. Gouging holes in my face and picking at it is NOT a good way to deal with stress and anxiety but atm I’m a bit stuck. Face picking is also something I have never really talked about to anyone before but it is definitely part of the OCD. It even has its own name: Dermatillomania, or Compulsive Skin Picking (CSP). I actually finally ‘fessed up to a professional about it only today: It was a big relief and they are now getting help for me with this problem I’ve had the whole of my life (well, since I was about 14).

I am also a counter – I count everything. Even when I know the number of things isn’t gonna change. Like, I will sit in church and count all the members of a family. There might be five and I know there is only five in that family, but I have to keep counting, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 over and over. It’s weird. My old psychologist once told me that what makes it OCD is that you’re checking to make sure it’s still the same instead of accepting, yes; there are five people in that family and leaving it (or like someone who has to repeatedly check the oven is off or the door locked or the hair straightener being left on). I will count how many lines on a verse of a song when it’s up on the screen, how many wheels on the truck next to me, how many louvers in the air vents, how many air vents, how many lights on the ceiling etc. The counting just goes on and on and on.

As part of my counting – or maybe it goes hand in hand with it, is that I also measure distances and times aaaall the time. I will measure the distance and time to EVERYwhere I go even when I know it hasn’t changed since the last time I went; I love clocks for these reasons too.

The last way that OCD cud affect me is through hoarding – something that my birth mother struggles with a lot and something that I definitely have tendencies towards. You see the Hoarding tv shows? Yup, that’s my mother but she is getting help for it and that’s great. I keep it in check by watching said tv shows and being reminded of my CBT bc they also use the concepts on those shows.

All of the above are different aspects of OCD and not just anxiety. Ive had quite a few laypeople doubt my OCD bc I don’t talk about it much – but you can see here that yep, I sure have it in leaps and bounds.

Anyway, I have a few strategies I wanna share with you – not all related to OCD but to anxiety in general (unless specified).

So before I start - where do I get my knowledge of this stuff? I have done intensive CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and twice done a DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) 6 month course plus years of experience as both client and a professional in the mental health field – so I reckon I’m qualified to give some strategies ….

The first thing I want you know about anxiety is what it can feel like.

When you get an anxiety attack take note of what your body is telling you;

•         Is your heart beating faster?
•         Do u feel hot or flushed all over?
•         You may feel nausea or dizziness
•         Do u feel like you are having a heart attack – is your chest tight and in pain?
•         Are you irritable?
•         Tired?
•         Confused – fuzzy in ur mind?
•         Have trouble concentrating?
•       Get sweaty clammy hands?
•       Tense muscles?
•       Dry mouth?
•       Shakey limbs?
•        Is there a lump in your throat you cant get rid of?
•        Are you running to the toilet a lot?
•       Does the idea of socializing (or even leaving the house) make u freeze up?
•        Is everything all too much to cope with?

These are all signs that you are leading up to or in an anxiety/panic attack; or not even an attack but u may just have generalized anxiety. Listening to your body is so important bc it allows you to (over time) catch the anxiety before it reaches its peak, then you can do something about it and possibly even avoid a full blown anxiety/panic attack altogether.

***Just a note here – I mentioned that it can feel like a heart attack?

That is so so true. I have been admitted into emergency more than once thinking I was having a heart attack and remained unconvinced even with the evidence in front of my eyes (the readouts from scans) bc I honestly believed the pain in my chest couldn’t be anything but a heart attack (and I have heart diease in my family). If you are prone to anxiety and/or like me you have heart disease in your family, make sure you can recognise the differences in the two very clearly. Bc if you are having a heart attack and you think it’s just anxiety, you could be in big trouble.

Anxiety does not get the pain down one arm like a heart attacks does.

Anxiety is all about the adrenalin so as you feel your heart going faster and you feel flushed; try to use relaxation to calm down the adrenalin that is pulsing through your body. The best kind of relaxation is two-fold.

Relaxation

Breathing

First I believe it is breathing. If you’re like me you might want to skip over this thinking breathing doesn’t work, but halt, please don’t skip it. If you persist, this can really work.

Take three deep breathes – but with each breath, count slowly to three as you breathe in, let ur whole body fill with the breath. Hold for a count of three and then another count of three as you breathe out; letting out every drop of air you inhaled. Your shoulders should probably slump a little as you finish expelling the air. Repeat this twice so you are doing three breathes. If this is not enough try it again in ten minutes.

Mindfulness

Another form of relaxation is mindfulness – it’s a technique used a LOT in CBT and DBT and it might sound a bit airy fairy but it is actually a super useful tool. Mindfulness is all about creating focus on something.

Let me use a couple of examples to illustrates how it works…

Bubbles in the Dishwater (bc this is one I naturally do and enjoy).

Look at the bubbles:

-          How big are they?

-          What colour are they?

-          What are they attached too?

-          Is the water cool or hot?

-          What makes a bigger bubble?

-          What reflections do you see in the bubbles?

-          What colour are the bubbles?

-          Do you see a rainbow in the bubbles from certain angles?

A piece of chocolate:

Before putting it in your mouth:

•          Is it wrapped in paper or foil or both?
•          What colour is it? Define the type of brown.
•          How big is it?
•          What shape is it?

Put it in ur mouth.

•          How does it taste?
•          What flavours or textures can you taste?
•          What is the dominant texture/flavour?
•          How does it slide down your throat?
•          Is any stuck to parts of your mouth? Which parts?
•          How hard do you have to work to get the chocolate from in your teeth?
•          What degree of sweetness or bitterness would you give it?

Teasing out every possible angle about something – including taste, texture, temperature, feel, sight and sound, keeps you focusing on one thing and gives you a bit more clarity. It definitely takes a bit of practice but mindfulness is really helpful. Plus, it’s something you can do and no one needs to know you’re doing it. You can do it at work, on the bus, in the car, at church, playing sport…. The possibilities are endless. And when it comes to chocolate – it makes it last longer and that can only be a good thing, lol.

So now we have two really good strategies to practice. And sometimes it’s great to practice these when you are not in such a distressed state because then when you are feeling anxious, the strategies are already beginning to be second nature. Try them when you are bored, or when watching tv.

There is something else that I think is vital for you to know if you suffer from any form of anxiety. This is not a strategy to try, but a thought to comfort you.

The 15 minute 'Rule'

When anxiety creeps up on you, you need to know that it will reach its peak for 15 minutes. Only 15 minutes and then it will start to subside. Yes, 15 minutes can feel like a lifetime while you’re in it I know, but it will begin to come down after that… unless you keep ruminating on the issue that caused the anxiety or the anxiety itself. Ruminating means to keep thinking on it. The more you focus on it, the longer it will remain at its peak. Which is where mindfulness can come in – get your mind focused on something else and you might not even notice the anxiety begin to subside.

Imagine a thermometer – your anxiety is the mercury in it. As it climbs it gets bigger and bigger, but it will reach the peak of the thermometer and then it can’t go any higher. On a stinking hot day, we do what we can to cool down – it’s the same with this thermometer.

My counsellor printed out a stack of these for me to chart where on the thermometer my anxiety began and where it hit it's peak and then where it came down too. I found it very helpful over time to see patterns in my anxiety.

If you need too, look at this one that may be easier to understand if you look at your anxiety going from 1-10 on the thermometer. If you need, too, print out copies like I did and chart them to see a pattern.

Do some mindfulness or deep breathing and you will see the mercury begin to go down. It might take another 15 minutes or half an hour or even an hour for the thermometer to come back down to the normal range – but the important thing here is that IT WILL COME DOWN.  And the worst of it only lasts a maximum of 15 minutes (unless you ruminate).

That’s pretty good to know hey?

Acceptance

Another important thing to have if you can is acceptance.

Accept that you have anxiety and that you have the power over it if you are armed with some ideas and strategies around it (which is the purpose of this blog).

Having anxiety doesn’t make you a freak or an outcast, in fact, you will be surprised to learn how many of us have anxiety and related disorders. The only reason why I personally found out about a few ppl recently is bc they were brave enough to write it on their FB status or text me about it.

I love to know when people are brave enough to tell me bc it means I might be able to help with strategies that have helped me in the past. I have so many years of mental health history as a support worker and a client that I love to share what I have learnt so that you, my reader, can be somewhat free of what plagues your life.

I really hope this has helped you a bit. If you have any questions what so ever, please, I implore you, reach out to someone, or reply to me here. I’d also love to know how you go with implementing these ideas in ur own life.

Cheers for now

Love L

xoxo