TWINning at Birthdays!

So tonight I wanna write about being a twin, and how much I adore my dear twin brother.

Just this last Monday past (28th July) my best friend and I turned the big 3.9.!

It's so scary bc both of us certainly don’t feel a year off of 40. Whaaaaaaat FORTY you say???? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Granted, my body often feels like it's 80 but our minds and interests are still so young!

Here is Mike holding up one of his pressies. He loved them all.

So what is it like having a twin? What are the awesome things and what are the pitfalls?

From my own experience being a twin has been a comforting thing.

I love that there is another person who has been through all the crap with me. We had an extremely traumatic childhood and knowing that my twin was there every step of the way is truly a gift as only he knows how painful things were. I hate that he had to go through it but at least we both are glad the other one was there all the time.

I remember some birthdays when I wished it was just me – but now when I think back, I wonder how could I have possibly wanted a birthday all to myself?

Speaking of birthdays, when we turned 16 I will never forget (and pay him out endlessly bc of it) that Mike was so excited by his own birthday that he completely forgot it was also mine. At the time we went to different schools and his taxi came all the way out to the farm to pick him up every morning at 7.30am.

He was so excited “Gimme my present, gimme my present” he said to me…. And after opening it had to run out to the taxi. I remember our mum asking me what was wrong when she saw my apparent upset face. So when he got home from school that day (later than me), she asked him

“Hey Mike, did u forget who’s birthday it is today too?”

The poor guy felt so bad I laugh about it. Lol  And it’s not actually like he forgot proper – he had a present for me and stuff.

There has only been one year when we couldn’t be together on our birthday (that I recall) and it was awful for me. I absolutely hated not doing something with my twin. Of course we talked on the phone but it was a dark day for me. Normally, before we shared house, Mike would come spend the weekend with me and it would always be a couple of days of birthday fun.

As adults, I have always made our birthday about Mike – bc to be honest, I am not that fussed about my birthday. I do enjoy getting greetings from people but I’m happy with that. Mike however, LOVES his birthday. I guess that’s where he is still like a big kid (bc of his disability). He can’t understand why we can’t have a party every year. So I try to make it something special. And bc there is only the two of us, I usually get him a few presents so he doesn’t feel like he missed out. Sometimes I think it’s so unfair and cruel that he misses out on the rest of his family especially at times like birthdays.

This year, we went to visit Krispy Kremes and had a fun hang out time there. We had planned to see a movie too but in the end were too tired so came home like ole grandma and grandpa, lol.

A few years ago, when we were in touch with our sister, she gave me a surprise birthday party. It was so beautiful – pretty much all my favourite special people were there… but my brother. Her intention was to let me have a birthday instead of making it all about Mike. It was such a lovely thing for her to do – but as a twin, I couldn’t help feel part of me was betraying my brother as he really should have been there with me so once I got over the shock of the surprise, there was a little corner of my heart that was crying.

But something else you might not know about twins and birthdays – it’s so so hard when you get birthday cards and lots of greetings (bc you know so many people) but your twin doesn’t get included. Personally, I’d rather he get them all but when I get a card in the mail and he is not included, the guilt that I feel is overwhelming. But how can I expect my friends to understand how it breaks my heart seeing the sad look on his face when there is nothing for him?

I think that’s something that people don’t realize. Bc we almost see the other twin as part of ourselves – or maybe just bc Mike and I are so close and so in tune with each other’s feelings, we do tend to feel a lot of guilt if one gets stuff that the other doesn’t. Maybe guilt is the wrong word…. I dunno, but it does feel like a knife going in seeing the other one sad.

Even right down to little things like cards. Or if Mike buys something for himself, he will show me but then always say “I feel bad for you, that you don’t have it”. I feel the same. It’s so weird, but kinda cool, altho the guilt part of it can hinder things.

People often ask if we have that telepathic thing going on. The answer is NO. They ask if we feel or know if the other is happy or sad. The answer is NO.

We are fraternal twins – that means that we were created from two separate eggs – just fertilized at the same time. We shared a womb yes, but fraternal twins (can be both sexes or same sex) are technically just like any brother and sister. I guess for Mike and I tho, we have shared so much and always been together that we are so close.

This photo was from the FMS PAD challenge. A lot of ppl get creeped out by it but I like it. lol.

Believe it or not, I have been asked if we are identical twins – even after I’ve told someone my twin is a brother. I usually repeat “He is my BROTHER” with a smile and then going on to explain it’s impossible to have boy and girl twins identical. (Mind you, I have seen boy/girl twins almost identical looking – their faces I mean, and some people say Mike and I look very very similar – I don’t think so tho).

Identical twins were created from the same egg – so while they share a womb, they also share the same sack and bc they came from the same egg, that is why identical twins often look the same, have the same characteristics, mannerisms, voice, etc.

It’s identical twins who usually ‘feel’ or ‘know’ if the other is in pain or happy etc. Having said that however, even though Mike and I don’t have that telepathic thing going on, when we can see the other in pain? It’s like a knife going through our bellies. It probably hurts more than if the bad thing were happening to us not our twin.

A joke I kinda like to play on people who might not know me that well – or who only know me and not Mike is Ill tell them “It’s my twin’s birthday” and they are like “Oooooh tell him we said happy birthday” or “This is my brother, it’s his birthday today” and then later, the person will click that hey, if he is my twin, it’s also mine. It’s pretty funny seeing people email or text later, hehehe!

But truthfully, in our perfect world, Mike and I would love others to remember the other twin no matter what. 

Well, I've probably rambled on enough for tonight. I could write sooo much more about being a twin so Ill save it for later.

Thanks for all the birthday love!

L xo

 Rockin it 80's style!!!!