I wanted to write about World Mental Health Week which was last week. I just got so busy with work, so here is my belated post on it - I thought I might just write some general tids and bits here - bc you know me, I've gone into lots of detail on other posts.
Most of you know that I write a lot on mental health having experienced a lot of mental un-health in my adult life.
I guess Mental Health Week is all about raising awareness of mental health, mental illness and looking after yourself. I am so vocal about this stuff anyway and a big part of the purpose of my blog is to raise awareness of it, to educate you and to advocate for those who don't have a voice.
What is Mental Health?
Mental health is just like your physical health - but for your brain! We place so much focus and attention on making sure our bodies are healthy. We try to eat the right foods and do all sorts of different exercises ranging from zumba, running, sports, gym etc to keep in shape. But how on earth do you keep your brain in shape?
Some of the best ways to keep your body in shape also apply to your brain. Did you know that getting the right amount of sleep can balance out your moods? As can eating fresh fruit and veggies (as opposed to artificial colours, flavours and preservatives)? Or getting enough exercise in the day (like even 'just' walking, just to raise those endorphins and tire you out so you can sleep).
Surprising isn't it? That the very things you would do to stay in shape physically also benefit your mind.
I love to challenge my mind with logic puzzles to keep it fit and active. Games like Sudoku are great at stretching your brain muscle. I wud urge you to give some a go - you might be stunned how how much more info you retain by training your brain! There are even brain training games on gaming consoles nowdays, give it a go!
So, it all sounds quite simple doesn't it? Wrong!
What if we add in factors like stress, depression, loss, illness etc.? It all becomes just a bit more complicated then. It is amazing, but not in a good way, the effect that stress can have on your life - your body can break down to the point of actual death if you have prolonged stress. Illness that goes on and on can also wear you down. I was sick with a horrible throat virus in August, it lasted the full month and it wore me down mentally so much bc no matter what I did, or how many anti-biotics I took, nothing was getting that virus outa me. It's horrible. I ended up crying a lot from the sheer frustration of not being able to shake that bug. It made me weak, tired, listless, confused and really sensitive. It just plain wore me down!
What if you have a mental illness. What's that? A mental illness you say? Yes, just as there is physical health and illness, we have mental health and illness.
You have probably heard of most of the major or more well known mental illnesses - ranging from:
Anxiety disorders (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia etc)
Eating disorders (Anorexia, Bulimia etc)
Mood disorders (like Major Depression)
Personality disorders (like Borderline Personality Disorder)
Psychotic illnesses (schitzo-effective disorder, psychosis)
Dissociative disorders (DID, DD Not otherwise Specified etc)
Aaaaaand the two biggies (Bipolar Affective Disorder and Schitzophrenia)....
Not to mention things that don't technically have names - like self harm, but often get slotted into other illnesses and disorders. Whew! What a list, and that's only a few of them. There must be nearly as many mental illnesses as there are physical ones.
Mental illnesses can take a lot longer to diagnose than a lot of physical/medical illnesses as we are dealing - usually, with not only genetics but environment and most of the time, trauma. If you have experienced some kind of trauma as a child you might not get the onset of an illness till your teens or well into adult-hood. I know for me, I only got correctly diagnosed in my mid 20's, but when my dr and I traced it back, it seems I first got my Bipolar (mania) episodes when I was 16 and as a result of many and much trauma as a child.
Not all people with mental illnesses experience bad stuff, sometimes it's purely genetic but generally there is a trigger of sorts - whether it be extreme stress, loss of a loved one, abuse etc.
Enough with general info (I know I left it short (for me, haha) but I really want to move on from here now......)
Let me ask you something. Are you one of those people that give a generic 'fine' when asked how you are?
I get asked that a lot (as do most people) and you should see the look on their faces when I actually tell them how I am. Nowdays I sometimes do it for shock value.... or my own personal enjoyment to see their faces.....But whether positive or negative, it's important to be honest.
The truth is (and I was reminded of this on a FB image tonight) that not only do we give the generic 'fine' but when it's asked, the asker is not looking for more than 'fine'. Have you seen the other person's face when you tell them how you really are? It can be quite amusing - if you're in the right frame of mind. People just don't know how to respond to realness and transparency.
Do you find yourself being the kind of person who asks the question just for something to say? Or do u mean it? Next time you go to ask someone "how u goin'?", first take a look at their body language; are they looking bright, have a straight posture, be walking with a bounce? Or do they look a bit defeated, be slumped, walk slow, talk slower than normal? Or do they even look tired? Then ask them how they are, and really mean it. If they give you that generic answer, ask them again. Trust me, that person may still give you a fine, but deep down in their core, they get a tiny message saying that you care. It might be hard for them to accept, but if you keep doing it, eventually they will get the message that you really do care. It took me over 5 years of fighting the love from friends before I finally started to accept the fact that there were people out there who did actually want to know how I was.
Sometimes I can get into trouble for asking them how they really are - but sometimes that's because I say "You look really tired", "You don't look so good" etc. but you know what? It's usually taken in good humour (and a lot of laughs if I got it wrong) and it DOES let the other person know that you are really noticing THEM!
Im such a massive believer in letting other people know they are worthwhile.
I also found this story below on facebook tonight that I'd like to share. It kinda relates to the above and is how I'm choosing to finish my post tonight. It was a friend's status and Im assuming she copied it from somewhere, but it struck a cord so much that I wanted to share it here in the hopes that it will make you think about how you talk to others, how you respond to them - their voice, their words but mostly their body language.....
*
*
*
Spoiler Suicide
*
*
*
*
*
SHARING FROM A FRIEND....
Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this.
You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all
. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinner's ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying.
The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out.
It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days.
It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried… your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.
People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. ♥ pls like if you read this thanks
Love and Peace
L xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment